THE BLAME GAME (or, an open letter to myself)

In any hardship, or struggle, there can come a time when frustration and pride will lead you to seek other tangible targets.  This turns out to be those nearest to you.  It's in a man's nature to fix things.  We want to find the root of the trouble.  And, when your weighed down with frustration and self doubt, the mirror is a tough place to face.  You tend to look elsewhere.

At some point, you just know that everyone has contributed to your downfall.  Your ex-boss for throwing you under the bus.  Your co-workers for not standing up for you.  Your wife for not "understanding the stress" your going through.  Your kids, who don't understand that you just need to focus on feeling sorry for yourself.
 
Are you any closer to the mirror? 

Am I?
 
The events that caused your struggle may, or may not have been your fault.  But every action you take after the incident is your responsibility.  True, there can be many outside forces pulling  at you , but your choices in how you handle these influences  are yours alone.
 
My advice to myself, and to anyone who might be interested, is take control of the things you can control.  Your anger, self doubt, and frustrations, are all yours.  That is something you can control.  No matter how hard you will it, you can't control the emotions of others.  This includes family, spouse, and children. 
 
Remember, they are in this with you.  They have fears and concerns of their own.  They are watching how you deal with this struggle, and they will react as you react.  It's one of the law of physics; every action has a reaction.  You must keep this in mind.  Of course this means added stress, but that can also be an important part in getting your focus back on track. Be proactive not reactive.
 
My personal application is toward the loss of  a job.  I believe, though, this could be an important principal in dealing with any family crisis.