Wednesday, February 16, 2005

My kids should be on commission!

My children are a marketing tool!

At least that’s what the schools must think.

If you’ve got kids in school you know exactly what I'm talking about. The schools use them to sell magazines and candy to help raise "funds" for school programs. It seems that every few months my kids bring home a new fundraiser for us to unleash on suspecting friends and neighbors.
Of course there is always an incentive for the child. If you sell 758 subscriptions you can choose from an assortment of "quality gifts". The glossy booklet shows pages of prizes. When looking through these slick catalogs, just remember sizes vary and quality means nothing. Once the prize comes in, you realize you could have gotten better stuff from a Happy Meal box.

At least then you wouldn’t be stuck with a years subscription of "Extreme Needlepoint".

Now, that’s just the schools. Outside activities are just as bad. In the past year my twins have sold:

*Cookies dough for Flag Football Cheerleading.
*Wrapping paper for Dance school.
*Candy bars for their soccer team.

And now that they are Girl Scout Brownies, I have cases and cases of Girl Scout cookies in my house, just waiting to be delivered. I mean THEY NEED TO BE DELIVERED SOON, or my wife will wake up one morning to find me lying on the floor, covered in empty Thin Mint boxes.

The worse to date came last Monday night. Both kids came home with blank postcard booklets, which the children were to "fill out" with the addresses of friends and family. These booklets were then to be returned to a magazine company where they will be sent out in the "child’s behalf" to these unsuspecting people who will probably buy something they don’t want, or need, out of sympathy for these two waifs and their beleaguered parents.

Don’t get me wrong! I don’t mean to be a grumpy old fart. (Though I often am.)

I always support school bond elections, when they come up. I collect box tops. I pitch in to buy supplies for the teacher. I usually spend more than I need to at the school's book fair. (Cause you can’t spoil a kid by giving them a book!) I‘ve even helped chaperon school field trips.

All I ask is that I get my kids progress report in their backpack, at least as often as I get a new fund raiser promotion.

7 Comments:

Blogger Mike said...

Was that you letting your Brownies block the door at the Auto Parts store last weekend?

Sorry for flipping you the bird. And running away crying.

No, seriously, I would have bought some, but Girl Scouts don't take debit cards, yet, and my cash was tapped out.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Rick said...

i'm with you - selling candy bars for the wonderful "quality prizes".

1:32 PM  
Blogger Russ said...

Yeah, this fundraising stuff can get a bit out of control. My 4-year old started preschool in September and we've already had 3 fundraisers... in preschool!


Russ
http://dailyyak.blogspot.com

10:53 PM  
Blogger Chip said...

Over the past year or so we just decided to become bad parents on this front, after 9 years of being elementary school parents. our second kid is now in 5th grade and all of the fundraising stuff from school just ends up in the recycling bin. after a while you just burn out. sometimes I just feel like sending in a check, forget about the selling, tell me how much BK or CB would have earned for the school by selling 100 candy bars and I'll just give that amount (probably about $10...) to the school, and skip all the selling part.

Love the image of the passed out dad covered with thin mint wrappers, though it hits a little too close to home...

6:50 AM  
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